> the p-bomb


I’ve opted against switching out the word panties for undergarments because it would be like a wizard or a witch giving up their magic wand it’s what the P-bomb conjures sexually in people’s minds that generates the social alarm it denotes feminine power stupid cultural norms then i thought here we go again with the feminist sex wars westerners are such assholes morons puritans around words or phenomena such as penis and panties and porn what about jock strap they act like 9-year-olds or members of the sisters of our heavenly father absolve us all but still you will never tell your pastor that you embrace your inner libertine know-it-all and love a good downfall he would call you a slut for getting caught on your bare knees by the bouncer on the filthy floor of a dive bar’s men’s room stall or getting finger fucked in the corner so what if you smoked pot too once why not admit it to your conversation-starved colleague who himself is an aspiring warlord and what about the gangster cartel in the backroom office of your employer, huh??

> advice to writers from joyce carol oates

This quote had a huge impact on me when I read it about a month ago. I haven’t been the same since as far as my writing is concerned. It’s from Joyce Carol Oates’ book The Faith of a Writer:

“Never be ashamed of your subject, and of your passion for your subject. Your ‘forbidden’ passions are likely to be the fuel for your writing.”

undulating terrain

As we packed boxes in her bedroom for her to move downtown, the chill track on Pandora sounded like seduction or something like the unimpeded breach of taboo or seeping glops of wildflower honey from a tabletop onto a white-tiled floor in a sterile room or like the dirty downfall of someone stoic or a secret animal or quiet uncaging of a deep-rooted impulse to defy after all like a forbidden undressing or a slow gush relished to the last drop with something unmistakenly lascivious across their lips as they lapped it up.

Shiva’s whiskers

Brambly coat hairs
fossil socks
a man with fondue
“The O’Reilly Factor”
Shiva’s whiskers
the idea man @ dawn
broken bicuspid
strawberry batter
the penis meltdown
the love lady’s cigarettes
orange nails
solo beauty
bacon bits
a ski net
a timid dive
holistic medicine
virgin soil
above & beyond
shoe lover
an autumn tide
trench coat
bemusement parlor
aloe vera

2 want ads: badge bunny, foot model

: Random Ads Series :

–Real cop searching for badge bunny. If you don’t know what that means look it up lol. I am the real deal so please be real too. Send a recent pic and put BADGE BUNNY in the subject line. Email for more details.

–Photographer looking for foot model for a special project about feet. High arches a plus. Respond if you are looking to make some extra cash. Compensation $300.

The Masteson’s

: Random Letters Series :

>> just texted your sister, “that was totally fucking hot.” Did not know what your message was so please relay it. I will be looking for you to come back on Sunday evening. Please bring cheese as the Masteson’s will be here. I won’t be arriving anyway until 6 p.m. due to picking up Sara.

PS: your sister had no idea about a girl’s penis being involved


(Note: This is the first in a series of my fictional letters, which I am calling the Random Letters Series. The joy in reading them is in not knowing their context.)

empty parking lot

Loud rap music in the empty downtown Las Vegas parking lot Marco had a boom box going in his car he was taking selfies with his girl on a warm damp cloudy Saturday morning near Mingo’s Kitchen & Lounge like street performers they were having a pop-up party with not another soul around their front and back car doors were wide open to let out the sound.