- Even though you might be half-witted, strive to use the word “repartee” when possible.
- Practice your chronic regurgitation of facts and opinions in the mirror to add an element of authenticity.
- If nothing else, avoid reading genre fiction in view of highbrow crowds.
- If you happen to meet someone named Margot, seize the opportunity and point out the connection to the love interest in Nabokov’s “Laughter in the Dark.”
- Drop the name Dostoevsky into a conversation—then spell it if necessary; spell necessary, as well.
- In fact, mention any canonical Russian author or classical composer and be ready with at least one example of their work, cited from your Google search.
- Familiarize yourself with the term “de rigueur.” It is always fashionable.
- Let on that you listen to podcasts instead of audiobooks — particularly podcasts made possible in part by grants and foundations.
- Plant a lived-in copy of a recent New York Times edition in a conspicuous spot in your home when you’re expecting guests.
- Hang out at Whole Foods Market. If using the restroom there, choose the hand dryer over the towel dispenser — and then quip, “When in Rome,” to any and all bystanders.
- Throw on a pair of Izipizi readers and eat some vegan pho.
- Know the difference between veganism and vegetarianism. Show off by explaining this to any clueless carnivores.
Tiny Speck of Paradise
words of occasional significance
