Bludgeon me here in my cubicle. Dress me up in your dress code then smash me over the head with a time clock. Bring me to with a shower of coffee, cream and sugar, then sign me up for the company barbecue.

You ask me never to go home. I say yes, I am flexible. I want to not live. When I go, just leave my car happily in the B Lot and bring me a pillow so I can dream forever of your employee handbook and 401(k) manual.